S E R V I C E S
Couples Therapy
Relationships often face periods of crisis and unrest. Insecurities, lack of communication, outside stresses, financial problems, division of labor, parenting difficulties, sex issues — these elements can tax a relationship. Add in negative or destructive emotions such as fear, anger, jealousy, and sadness, as well as weekly or even daily arguing, and you have what feels like a disaster on your hands. I help couples navigate the troubled waters of their relationships. I help you discover tools and methods of coping to prevent future problems, too. I tailor each session to a couple's specific needs. Generally speaking, however, sessions often focus on:
Understanding one another’s vulnerabilities
Communicating without defensiveness
Reconnecting with each partner’s values/dreams
Overcoming difficult impasses
Regulating emotions and emotional responses
Making lasting changes based on shared goals
During sessions, we explore problems and seek healthy solutions so you can arrive at a more balanced and fulfilling relationship.
Individual Therapy
When you're feeling a little lost or stuck, you may need someone to lend a hand and guide you in exploring the challenges in your life. For 20 years, I have been helping clients manage real problems using solution‑focused strategies.
People seek me out for a wide variety of reasons: They may be coping with day‑to‑day struggles; childhood trauma; grappling with depression and/or anxiety; substance abuse; illness; relationship problems; parenting challenges; school difficulties; career changes; grief or loss; and some might simply desire personal growth and greater self‑knowledge.
Together, in a compassionate and warm space, we will discuss your feelings, beliefs, behaviors, and challenging and influential memories. We'll identify aspects of your life that you would like to alter, work toward gaining a better understanding of yourself and others, and set personal goals to achieve the desired change. We may see each other for as few as five or six sessions or perhaps longer depending on your unique needs and personal goals for therapy.
Sex Therapy
Sex is important. When people are happy with their sex life, it feels like it makes up about 20 percent of their relationship satisfaction. But when people are unhappy with their sex life, its importance seems to jump to about 70 percent of their entire relationship satisfaction. When a couple struggles with sex, it can become a big issue and take a significant toll on the happiness of the people involved.
Our sexuality is a birthright. Expressing it can be an experience of pleasure, connection, playfulness, creativity, and love. It taps into a life force that is powerful and healing. Being cut off from our sexuality or being unable to express it, alone or with others, separates us from a part of ourselves that matters.
There are good reasons for the problems you are having, such as stress, mismatched libidos, body image, entitlement, age, and trauma; we just have to figure them out. Sexuality can be affected by age, health, psychological concerns, and relationship dynamics, as well as by daily life taking its toll. Some of these things can be changed. For others, you need to adapt to a new normal. Either way, you can create your best possible sex life.
Blended Families
& Stepparenting
It takes a lot more time than people think — as many as five to 10 years — for stepfamilies to bond and build trust. The challenges are many: How can children suddenly become siblings just because their parents fall in love? How do they share the attention from their own parent with comparative strangers? How do you parent children that aren't your own? No one enters stepfamily life unencumbered. Emotions like love and loyalty and guilt and fear have the power to tear a marriage and stepfamily apart.
As a wife, mother, and stepmother, I have an understanding of the unique challenges that couples and blended families face. I provide practical help to deal with the differing attachments of children to their biological parents and stepparents. I assist stepparents as they cope with feeling excluded from the powerful biological parent‑child bond. I guide parents torn between their spouse's needs for intimacy and privacy and their children's needs for support and attention.
Together we will explore what really matters to each family member and create rituals and rules so that you feel pride and deep personal satisfaction in your new and combined family.
Separation & Divorce
Sometimes marriages do not succeed. Although the end of a marriage can offer relief to some, it comes with a lot of stress and different emotions. The process of separation can be mentally, physically, and financially exhausting, and when children are involved, the level of stress within the family is even higher.
Some of my clients pursue therapy to help them decide whether to stay in a marriage or leave. Others seek help to make the transition from being married to being single. Whether you initiated the divorce or not, the change it brings is huge, and recognizing the effects the divorce has on your life and those around you can be a painful process. In therapy, I help you make sense of the end of your marriage, work through the painful and frightening feelings, and guide you safely and gently to a new perspective. In the process, my clients often learn more about what they need from a relationship and what to reject as not being good for them. This difficult and challenging time can be an opportunity for self-reflection, growth, and personal development.
Infidelity
Infidelity can rock the foundation of any marriage. The discovery is earth shattering. The pain is unbearable. There is usually total disbelief and confusion. Suddenly, you’re questioning everything about your marriage and yourself.
Infidelity doesn't have to be the end of your marriage. Betrayals are complicated; your values and behavior are often in conflict with one another during an affair. With counseling, you can come to understand what happened between you and your partner and begin the recovery and healing process. There are important issues to explore. How do you forgive someone who has hurt you so deeply? Will you ever be able to trust again? Will the pain and shame you are experiencing ever go away?
The truth is, very few marriages in which an affair takes place end in divorce. In fact, many couples go on to thrive. The marriage will never be the same, but instead you can go on to experience a new and better marriage.
Over the years, I have helped many couples deal with infidelity. It is my sincere desire to be part of a more nuanced and less judgmental conversation about this defining moment. It does not lend itself to simple categorizations of good and bad, victim and culprit. To be clear, not condemning does not mean condoning, and there is a world of difference between understanding and justifying. With my support, you will explore this crisis in your relationship. Transparency, patience, growth, and forgiveness are all part of the healing process. Couples who commit to doing the difficult work of mending their marriage often find that their relationship is stronger after the affair than before. You can fall back in love with your spouse and learn to trust again.