My goal is to offer you support and safety while you explore what isn’t working in your partnership. In my couples counseling, the relationship is the focus and together each partner pays attention to his or her role in what has come undone in the couple. Neither one of you is solely to blame. What is pushing your buttons, and what are your unresolved hurts and beliefs that need attention and healing? Self-reflection helps us to learn a kinder gentler way of being with each other. You will learn to be more aware and respectful of each other’s perspectives, feelings and behavior and to turn towards each other rather than away.
When partners repeatedly engage in heated battles or avoid conflict and withdraw, both of you hurt, resentment builds and repairs are difficult to make. My job is to remain neutral and caring. This helps you lower your distress and anxiety about the relationship as you begin to understand your different points of view and resolve those awful win-lose battles. The purpose of therapy is to be present and open. To attune to each other and discuss the issues you are confronting in the spirit of curiosity, compassion and forgiveness that can result in the repair of your marriage and to reconnect as partners.