Infidelity can rock the foundation of any marriage. The discovery is earth shattering. The pain is unbearable. There is usually total disbelief and confusion. Suddenly, you’re questioning everything about your marriage and yourself.
Infidelity doesn’t have to be the end of your marriage. Betrayals are complicated; your values and behavior are often in conflict with one another during an affair. With counseling, you can come to understand what happened between you and your partner and begin the recovery and healing process. There are important issues to explore. How do you forgive someone who has hurt you so deeply? Will you ever be able to trust again? Will the pain and shame you are experiencing ever go away?
The truth is, very few marriages in which an affair takes place end in divorce. In fact, many couples, go on to thrive. The marriage will never be the same but instead you can go on to experience a new and better marriage.
Over the years I have helped many couples deal with infidelity. It is my sincere desire to be part of a more nuanced and less judgmental conversation about this defining moment. It does not lend itself to simple categorizations of good and bad, victim and culprit. To be clear not condemning does not mean condoning and there is a world of difference between understanding and justifying. With my support, you will explore this crisis in your relationship. Transparency, patience, growth and forgiveness are all part of the healing process. Couples who commit to doing the difficult work of mending their marriage experience that their relationship is stronger after the affair than before. You can fall back in love with your spouse and learn to trust again.